Amish Paradise

Weird Al Yankovic (Parody of Gangsta's Paradise)
kar by Mike M

As I walk through the valley

where I harvest my grain,

I take a look at my wife

and realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an Amish like me

You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the morning

I'm milking cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens
and Jacob plows... fool

And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that,

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land,

I'm into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand

and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores

and you finish thine

Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives,

Living in the Amish paradise

I've churned butter once or twice

Living in an Amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Living in an Amish paradise

We sell quilts at discount price

Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him
And I turned the other cheek

I really don't care
In fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off
when he's burning in Hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist
even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of

I never wear buttons
but I got a cool hat
and my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool

If you come to visit,
you'll be bored to tears
We haven't paid the phone bill in 300 years

But we ain't really quaint,
So please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impared

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Curuso
it's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives,
Living in an Amish paradise

We're just plain and simple guys,
Living in an Amish paradise

There's no time for sin and vice,
Living in an Amish paradise

We don't fight, we all play nice,
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy,
churnin' lots of butter
Raised a farm on Monday,
soon I'll raise anutter

Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble
as thou art
I'm the pious guy

The little Amlettes wanna be like

On my knees day and night
scorin' points for the afterlife

So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother,
I might have to get medieval
on your heinie

We been spending most our lives,
Living in an Amish paradise

We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights,
Living in an Amish paradise

But you'd probably think it bites,
Living in an Amish paradise

Soft Karaoke
Words
Rap drumset
string 1
fretless
choir aahs
string 1
fretless
aahs
aahs
sequenced by Jennifer Spengler
girlchoice@aol.com

intro
walk through the valley...
chorus
got the situation...
why
chorus
power and money...
chorus
why are we...
outro