The Family Fool - 19th Century - Gilbert and Sullivan

Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK - 13 Sept 2001

Oh! A private buffoon
is a lighthearted loon,
if you listen to popular rumour;
from the morn to the night
he's so joyous and bright.
and he bubbles with wit and good humour!
He's so quaint and so terse,
both in prose and in verse;
yet though people forgive his transgression,
there are one or two rules
that all Family Fools
must observe if they love their profession.
There are one or two rules,
half a dozen maybe,
that all family fools of whatever degree
must observe if they love their profession.

If you wish to succeed as a jester,
you'll need to consider
each person's auricular:
What is all right for B
would quite scandalize C
(For C is so very partic'lar);
and D may be dull,
and E's very thick skull
is as empty of brains as a ladle;
While F is F sharp,
and will cry with a carp,
that he's known your best joke
from the cradle!
When your humour they flout,
you can't let yourself go;
and it does put you out
when a person says 'Oh!
I have know that old joke from the cradle!'

If your master is surly,
from getting up early
(and tempers are short in the morning),
an inopportune joke is enough to provoke
him to give you, at once,
a month's warning.
Then if you refrain he is at you again,
for he likes to get value for money.
He'll ask then and there,
with an insolent stare,
"If you know that you're paid to be funny?"
It adds to the task of a merry man's place,
when your principal asks,
with a scowl on his face,
If you know that you're paid to be funny?

Come a Bishop, maybe,
or a solemn D.D.
Oh, beware of his anger provoking!
Better not pull his hair
don't stick pins in his chair;
he don't understand practical joking.
If the jests that you crack
have an orthodox smack,
you may get a bland smile from these sages;
But should it, by chance,
be imported from France,
Halfacrown is stopped out of your wages!
It's a general rule,
though your zeal it may quench,
if the Family Fool
makes a joke that's too French,
Halfacrown is stopped out of his wages!

Though your head it may wrack
with a bilious attack,
and your senses with toothache you're losing,
don't be mopy and flat
they don't fine you for that,
if you're properly quaint and amusing!
Though your wife ran away
with a soldier that day,
and took with her your trifle of money;
Bless your heart, they don't mind
they're exceedingly kind
they don't blame you
as long as you're funny!
It's a comfort to feel
if your partner should flit,
though you suffer a deal,
they don't mind a bit,
they don't blame you,
as long as you're funny!

Soft karaoke
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bass
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The Family Fool 19th Century  Gilbert-Sullivan

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The Family Fool 19th Century  Gilbert-Sullivan
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
Words by Sir W. S. Gilbert
sequenced for Piano by Dr. Pitt-Payne in London UK
on Thursday 13 Sept 2001 at 17.57
in association with Doug Grierson
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© James Pitt-Payne, London UK, 2001
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